Category: Uncategorized
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What Was Really Behind My “Laziness” and What I Know Now
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers I remember sitting on the living room floor one evening while my boys were playing nearby. One of them was trying to build something out of Legos and getting more and more frustrated every time it…
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Why Being Ignored Causes Such Deep Pain and Damage
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton My older sister had four years over me. As a kid, I worshipped the ground she walked on. She was so smart, so pretty, so cool. I wanted to be wherever she was,…
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How I Reframed Letting Go So I Could Move on from My Painful Past
We are truly free when we let go of the thought that the past could or should have been any different than it was. This is so hard. The challenge is born from our desperate need to validate our feelings and experiences. It often feels like we are invalidating ourselves if we let go of…
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How to Be More Present Through Sound, Silence, and Stillness
“Music gives color to the air of the moment.” ~Karl Lagerfeld I used to think I was a good listener. I could hold eye contact, nod at the right moments, ask thoughtful follow-up questions. But one afternoon, sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in a small studio in Rishikesh, I realized I had never truly…
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The Hidden Survival Patterns I Mistook for Brokenness
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ~Rumi I grew up in a council house in the 1970s, in a world where children were seen and not heard. We were kicked out in the morning and told to come back when the streetlights came on. On the surface, it looked normal. But…
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How Cheating Death Changed My Perspective on Life
“Only when we realize that our time is limited do we begin to appreciate the value of every single day.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross I didn’t expect the trip to begin the way it did. In December 2003, I decided to take a holiday over Christmas. I booked an eco-tour of Sri Lanka, traveling around the country…
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How I Stopped Being the Victim of My Own Story
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ~Søren Kierkegaard A few years ago, I was catching up over coffee with an old friend I’ll call Ray, a trusted mentor. He’s a few years older than me, silver-haired and down to earth, the kind of man who listens with his whole…
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The Truth About Time That Most of Us Avoid Facing
“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” ~Oprah Winfrey My father died at forty-nine. I was young when it happened, still soft in the way grief makes you when you are not yet equipped to hold it. I was so consumed by the loss itself that I never…
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I Don’t Miss My Ex—I Miss Who I Was with Her
“Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.” ~Doug Larson I don’t miss Zinia. I miss the Zinia I made up. The real Zinia—the one who fought with me for hours over things that became bigger than they should have, who said things I told myself I’d never forgive,…
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What Helped Me When My Life Felt Uncertain and Unstable
“Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears.” ~Pema Chödrön Evicted. The word stared up at me from the letter in my hands. It was the summer of 2022, near the tail end of the Covid…