Category: Uncategorized
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The Subtle Ways You Lose Yourself in a Toxic Relationship
“Emotional abuse is any pattern of behavior that undermines a person’s sense of self-worth and reality.” ~Beverly Engel At first, the changes were small. I stopped wearing that outfit everyone liked because they said it didn’t look good on me. I let certain friendships fade because it made him uncomfortable. I laughed less at things…
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My Father Taught Me Love Is Something You Earn; He Was Wrong
“One of the hardest things I’ve had to understand is that closure comes from within. Especially difficult if you’ve been betrayed by someone you love because you feel like you gotta let them know the pain they caused, but the peace you seek can only be given to you by you.” ~Bruna Nessif A photo…
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What Helped Me Heal from a Breakup and Create a Life I Love
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela First, I slept in a snow shelter at -20°C. Second, I stood alone on a stage in Montreal and tried to make strangers laugh. Third, I stuck out my thumb on the side of a highway with nothing but a backpack…
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Why I Couldn’t Stop Reacting (Even Though I Knew Better)
“Knowledge is not skill. Knowledge plus ten thousand times is skill.” ~Shinichi Suzuki I knew exactly what to say to my narcissistic mother. I just could never say it. For twenty years I studied every technique in the book. Gray rocking (becoming emotionally neutral and unreactive). Broken record (calmly repeating the same boundary). Don’t JADE…
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The Cult of People and What It Means to Be Free
“Sometimes walking away is the only way to stop walking away from yourself.” ~Unknown I was between sessions. My TV was on in the background—something I’d half-started watching called The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu—as I walked into the kitchen to make myself some lunch. It’s about a group of Mormon wives who…
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Learning to Speak Up When You Were Taught That Your Feelings Don’t Matter
“A proper grown-up communicates clearly and assertively.” This is something I have heard many people say. By that definition, I wouldn’t have been classed as a proper grown-up for most of my life. There was a time when I couldn’t even ask someone for a glass of water. I know that might seem crazy to…
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Two Free Events for Less Pain and More Love
When I shared my recent sound bath experience last week, many of you responded letting me know life has been particularly challenging for you too lately. If you’re in that same boat—and especially if you’ve been feeling lonely, down on yourself, or overwhelmed—I have a feeling you’ll appreciate two free events that are coming up…
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When You Feel Trapped in a Life That Looks Good on Paper
“When something isn’t right for you, it has a way of letting you know. Not in one big announcement, but in a thousand small nudges.” ~Martha Beck I was sitting at the kitchen table with my coffee one morning when a thought slipped in that I hadn’t let myself think before: This can’t be the…
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What Happened When We Chose Not to React in Anger
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor E. Frankl A few months ago, I was on a crowded highway with my wife and son. Traffic was barely moving. Vehicles were inching forward, one small gap at a time, with the usual impatience hanging…
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How to Heal on a Deeper Level After Moving On
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~C.G. Jung For twelve years, I believed I was the architect of a perfect life. I had the “Summa Cum Laude” degree, a respected career in human services, a devoted husband, and two healthy daughters. I had checked…